By Maria Volodkevich, Director of Marketing & Communications, The COMMIT Foundation
“Take your mark.” Beep.
I dove into the pool for my final swim race at the U.S. Air Force Academy.
After thirteen years of competitive swimming, I knew, deep down, it was time to walk away.
From 4:30 a.m. wakeups at 12 years old…
To double practices…
To 22 hours a week of wet hair…
To four-day meets and thousands of laps back and forth…
I had given everything to the sport. And I was exhausted. It was time for a change. A new uniform.
But since I was six years old, I was Maria the swimmer.
So who was I without it?
At the same time, I was stepping into a completely different world: a freshman at the U.S. Air Force Academy.
Marching across the terrazzo with my backpack in my left hand (with a heavy Physics 101 book).
Memorizing upperclassmen’s hometowns.
And trying to keep up physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I had traded one identity for another. But I hadn’t answered the real question. I ignored it and distracted myself with the military identity for a decade.
After seven years in the U.S. Air Force as an intelligence officer, deploying twice to Qatar in support of operations in the Middle East, I felt something familiar. The same exhaustion I once felt in swimming. The same quiet knowing: It was time for a change.
That change brought me somewhere I never expected:
Back home. Living with my parents at 27. At what felt like rock bottom. And there were many days I didn’t leave my bed. Because if I weren’t Maria the swimmer or Maria the Air Force officer…
Who was I?
I enrolled in COMMIT’s programming in 2023 during my transition and devoted that year to finally committing to myself. I attended the New York City Transformation Workshop in October 2023, along with several other COMMIT resources. And slowly, I began to see through the trees. After a year of deep work and therapy… a noticeable shift began to happen inside me. Not overnight. Not all at once. But slowly, I started to feel like myself again.
And that’s when it finally hit me. The lesson I had been avoiding in both transitions.
You aren’t the uniform.
Not the one you wear in the swimming pool.
Not the one you wear in the military.
Those were roles. Chapters. Experiences that shaped you.
But they were never you.
You are the person beneath the uniform.
- The heart behind the mission.
- The passion that drives you.
- The way you show up for others.
- The way you make people feel.
What lights your soul on fire? That’s who you are.
Because when the uniform comes off…that’s all that’s left.
Today, I’m Maria.
Maria, who works at The COMMIT Foundation—the very place that helped me rebuild my identity after the loss of two different uniforms.
And it turns out, I was never missing anything.
I just had to come back to myself.
